Two Weeks

It is hard to believe that it has been 2  weeks since Kevin died.   As I shared in my last post, time is moving by.   I don't want it to, and I don't like it.   I wish I could go back and reverse everything to change the outcome.  To make things better for Suzie and her kids, and everyone else.

Brian and I find ourselves still crying.    The sadness we feel is for Suzie & her kids, for our church, for our community, and selfishly, for ourselves.  We liked being around Kevin.  He was just that kind of guy.  There are many good memories, and knowing where he is does bring comfort, but the sadness still remains.

I was jumping from blog to blog through links and I came across a blog from Tim, a guy that goes to our church. His entry was titled, "I miss Kevin."  I think that sums up how we all feel.

Pressing On

So now reluctantly, we move forward.

So many people have been hurting and sad and broken. I am ready for some healing to begin. However, even saying that makes my heart ache for Suzie and the kids.....as I wonder how they will ever heal.   Time continues to move on, as much we don't want it to.  As I write this, I am reminded of a Tommy Nelson Bible study that we did a few years ago, with the Lawyer Community Group, on the book of Ecclesiastes.

"Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.  The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises......What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;  there is nothing new under the sun."  Ecclesiastes 1:4-9

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

(By the way, go ahead and have the Rocky Road ice cream, life is too short. :)   

Kevin's death has touched so many people.  People who've been close to God and those who are far from God.  Even if it's just been to take a minute and hug their spouse and kids and say "I love you."  We never know when our time will be.

It makes me smile to think that Kevin has finished the race.  He's won!  The rest of us are still here. We have a lot of running left to do.  We must press on.

I wanted to share with you 2 cute Charlie stories.  (By the way, it is SO strange to write about my kids using other names....but I will, for you Dad.)

Story #1

Last week, we all went to see High School Musical, the play.  Our tickets were for Wed night. When the day came, B & I felt like all of our kids really needed the change of scenery.  It was a great show and I loved seeing my kids laughing and smiling after almost a week of sadness. Even Bri sang along and danced to the songs (much to Veruka's dismay.)

Mike was cute, only ever having seen one other play, he didn't like that it was not exactly like the movie.  More than once during it, he leaned over and said, "Well, they got that part wrong."

After the play, we were asking the kids what their favorite parts were.  

Mike chimed in, "I liked it all EXCEPT the kiss between Troy and Gabriella at the end. YUCK!"

I responded, "Well, that was probably a fake kiss since it was a play."

Charlie responded with authority, "No, it was real, because they are mature people.  Mature people really kiss.  The only people who fake kiss are little kids and Wrestlemania."

Me:  "Huh?????"

Me:  "Wrestlemania???"

Charlie:  "Yeah, everyone knows Wrestlemania is fake. I've seen them sneak a kiss in there once and awhile and it's a fake one."

Me:  "Okay???  If you say so!??"  :)

Story #2

As you all know, my boys are "all boy."  Lots of tackeling each other, rough housing, football & baseball playing, video game-aholics (well at least Charlie is) and just all around loud.

This past weekend, Charlie had one of his friends from church spending the night.  I told the boys that they HAD to have the lights and TV off at midnight and go to sleep.  (We've had way too many sleepovers that didn't involve much sleeping.)

At midnight I went downstairs to make sure everything was off and to say goodnight.  I also wanted to see if they wanted to say a prayer.  The 2 of those 6th grade boys laid there, heads on pillows, tucked under their blankets, and said a prayer for their buddy, Josh.  It was so touching and sweet to see those boys lifting their friend up in prayer in his time of need.

It was one of those moments where I could see a glimpse of the man that he's going to become, and I liked what I saw.

Going "All In"

Philippians 3:7-11

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness  that comes from God and is by faith.  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead."

We will miss you, Kevin.  2.21.08

God Be With the Lawyers!

We've cried, hugged, questioned, reassured, and comforted each other all weekend. Although, it still seems hard to believe at times, it is gradually sinking in that this is real. Many of you have called and emailed us, so I just wanted to give you a quick update.  

All 6 of the Lawyer kids are doing well.  The last child was released from the hospital on Sunday. Praise God!

Suzie has been described as being a rock through this whole thing.   She is leaning on God as her rock and using her faith, that she and Kevin will be reunited in Heaven, to give her the strength that she needs to make it through each day.  She is focusing on the blessing that all of her kids walked away from this horrible accident with nothing more than minor injuries.  Please keep them all in your prayers.

The past several days have been exhasting and emotionally draining.  I can't even begin to imagine how it's been for the family.

There were over 2500 people that came to the Visitations.  Isn't that an incredible testimony to the kind of person that Kevin was?  The Memorial Service yesterday was also a packed house.  Kevin touched many people with his life and will probably touch many more with his death.  He's inspired many to grow deeper in their faith and as a result, become better spouses, parents, and friends.  He will be missed.

Saturday, I walked into the study to check something on the computer and Charlie's IM (Instant Message)  was still on the screen.  When you are finished IM-ing, you can leave an "away message."  This is what Charlie's said:  GOD BE WITH THE LAWYERS!

I think that about sums up anything I could say.  

GOD BE WITH THE LAWYERS!

Please Pray

I am writing this with a heavy heart.  I would like to ask you all for your prayers.  A good friend of ours, Kevin Lawyer, was killed tonight (Thurs) in a car accident.  He was driving his 6 kids home from school when it happened.  The kids were taken to 2 different hospitals. 4 of the 6 were being released when I left the hospital around 9PM.  The other 2, who were taken to Hopkins, were doing well, but hadn't yet been released.  His wife, Suzie, was not in the car with them at the time of the accident.

I was able to go up to the hospital to be with Suzie and the kids, along with other close friends and our Pastor and his wife.  Bri was in FL getting ready to fly home, when we heard about the accident.  Thankfully, he made it home safely.

My kids are pretty upset, as this is the first time, that they can recall, that someone close to them has died.  We have them all sleeping in our room tonight with us.

I am emotionally drained but yet unable to sleep, thus the post at 5AM.

I keep thinking that they must have made a mistake, that this can't be true.  But, sadly it is.

The one blessing in all of this is that Kevin truly put God first in his life.  He believed in Jesus with all of his heart. We know that he is in Heaven, where he wanted to be. As Brian said, "Now he knows all of the answers." 

Although, we are comforted in knowing where he is, our hearts are saddened by the void he leaves behind in so many people's lives.

Please pray for my friend Suzie and her kids Josh, Mayson, Max, Katie, Chloe, and Isabella.

A Bunch of Random Stuff

I got this in an email from my Dad.  Here are my answers to a bunch of random questions.

1.  Were you named after anyone?   No

2.  When was the last time you cried?  I wanted to cry today....too many kids here!  (Really, I cried yesterday.  Lately it seems like I cry all the time...happy or sad...it doesn't matter.)

3.  What is your favorite lunch meat?  Boars Head Genoa Salami

4.  How many kids do you have?  3

5.   If you were another person, would you be friends with you?  Yes, of course!

6.   Do you use sarcasm a lot?  What do you think??

7.   Do you still have your tonsils?  Yes, but I have no idea what they do.

8.    Would you bungee jump?  Yes, I'd do it once.  I'm all about trying new things....OLT...Once in a Life Time!

9.  What is your favorite cereal?   Frosted Flakes, Cap'n Crunch, Frosted Mini Wheats....I was raised on the sugar cereals of the 70's....I love 'em!

10.   Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?   No, too lazy.

11.   Do you think you are strong?  Only on the inside.

12.   What is your favorite ice cream?  Bryers Strawberry!  I have eaten the whole container in ONE sitting....straight out of the carton....more than once!

13.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  Eye contact & smile...I guess that's two things. Oops!

14.  Red or Pink?  PINK!

15.  What is the least favorite thing about yourself?   Physically...my nose...I broke it in 8th grade and it is crooked.    Mentally...that I cannot put myself first without feeling guilty.

16.  Who do you miss the most?  My grandparents, I wish they could know me as an adult and I could have know them better.

17.  What color pants and shoes are you wearing?  Blue sweats & no shoes

18.  What was the last thing you ate?   A GREAT dinner made by Veruka and her friend 'Swish'.

  

Strawberry Smoothies, Caesar Salad, Shrimp Fettucini Alfredo,  & Fresh Fruit Parfait w/ Whipped Cream.  

They planned the menu, bought the food, and made the whole meal without me knowing what they were cooking.   Are they the best or what??  They did this for FUN!  Don't you just love girls?

19.  What are you listening to right now?  TV.....TLC Channel

20.   If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  Yellow

21.  What are your favorite smells?  Furnace going on, fresh cut grass, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, & CLEAN BOYS!

22.   Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?  My hubby.  He is in FL and is driving from Orlando to Jacksonville right now and trying to stay awake.

23.   Favorite sport to watch?  Football...especially if my kids are playing.

24.  Hair color?  Nobody knows!  It used to be brown...it is currently blonde, w/ brown and gray roots!

25.  Eye color?  I'm a "brown eyed girl."

26.  Do you wear contacts?  NO----not anymore.  I have them, but they drive me crazy!  I've gone back to wearing my glasses when I must see clearly...the rest of the time I go through life with everything softly blurred...it's really kind of nice.

27.  Favorite food?  Crabs, corn on the cob with butter, & fresh ripe tomatoes!  Mmmmm!

28.  Scary movies or happy endings?  Happy endings!!

29.  Last movie you watched?  "Alvin and the Chipmunks" ...I really need to get a life!

30.  What color shirt are you wearing?  White....Shouldn't this question be near the pants and shoes question?

31.   Summer or Winter?  Summer---but actually Fall is my favorite.

32.  Hugs or kisses?  Both!

33.  Favorite Dessert?  Cannolis  also Bryers Strawberry Ice Cream (See #12!)

34.  What book are you reading now?  "A New Earth--Awakening to Your Life's Purpose"  by Eckhart Tolle....I just started it.  So far it seems a little new agey, but I had to see what all the hoopla was about on Oprah.

35.  What is on your mousepad?  A pix of my 3 kids from my sister's wedding

36.   What did you watch on TV last night?  Nothing...didn't watch TV....hubby was leaving in the morning.

37.  Favorite sound?  Nothing----seriously, I mean SILENCE.

38.   Rolling Stones or Beatles?  No thanks....How about U2?

39.  What is the farthest you have been from home?  Hawaii

40.  Do you have a special talent?  Yes, doing all the laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning, lunch packing, homework helping, kid chauffering, boo-boo kissing, & household managing...all the while, making it appear effortless.

Special Bonus Random Fact:  I LOVED Andy Gibb and the Bee Gees when I was growing up. My side of the bedroom wall was plastered with their posters.   My sister's side was plastered with Boston posters.  You tell me, who was the cooler sister???  All right, I admit it,  it wasn't me. 

Roses For Rose

Okay, I found the rose story online. Get your tissues ready, I'm warning you --- it will make you cry. (At least if you're like me ~ a 40 year old, emotional, premenopausal gal!)

I also want to clarify that I DID NOT write this. I also do not know if it is true or not, but I still love it. I heard this at my MOPS - (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting last week.

"Wait a minute," you say, "you don't have any preschoolers."
Ah yes, that is true. I am the 'Mentor Mom' for our church sponsored group. I am supposed to be there to provide encouragement and wisdom for the young Moms. (Okay, you can stop laughing now.)

Seriously though, it has been a great experience for me these past couple of years. I don't know that any of them have learned anything from me, but I've learned a lot from them.

The story is long, but worth the time you'll spend reading it.


Roses For Rose

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

She thought - he ordered roses, in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, placed them in a very special vase.
Then sat the vase beside the portrait of her smiling face.
She sat for hours in her husband's favorite chair.
Staring at his picture and the roses sitting there.

A year went by. It was hard to live without her mate.
With the loneliness and solitude that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour as on Valentine's before,
The doorbell rang. There were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, looked at them in shock.
Then she got the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered. She asked him to explain,
Why would someone do this, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The florist said, "I knew you'd call, and want to know.
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.
Your husband planned ahead, with nothing left to chance."

"He left a standing order. You'll get them every year.
There's also another thing, that you should know.
He wrote a special little card for you, he did this years ago.
That's the card that has been sent, to your this following year."

She thanked him and hung up, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shook as she reached, so slowly for that card.
"My love," it said, "it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, the pain is very real.
If it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, my perfect, perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of the happiness
that we had, how both of us were blessed.
I always loved you, I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy. I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year. They will only stop,
If your door does not open, when the florist comes to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
to take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him.
And place the roses where we are, together once again."