Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I have a small dilemma.  As you all know, my youngest is 8. He's right in the prime of the "Birthday Party Years", as I like to refer to them.

This coming week he has four birthday parties.  That is right, four.   Two of the parties are for good friends of his, the other two are for kids that he that he is friends with......but kids that he doesn't usually play with.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that he has so many friends and is invited to so many parties, but on the other hand, it seems a bit excessive.    Plus at $15 per gift, we're looking at $60 in gifts this week alone.  

My dilemma is this:

How do I say no without lying?

I don't want to lie and say that he is busy, when he is not.  I don't think that's teaching him the right thing.  But how do I decline gracefully???

You'd think I'd have this figured out by now, since he is my 3rd kid, but I'm stumped.  

How do you handle Birthday Party Overload?


Jen said...

I don't have any advice for you but I'm thinking that maybe all of these children don't need "Friend" birthday parties every. single. year. It's crazy! That would solve the problem for all of us!

When my kids were little, I decided that every one of them would get a birthday party when they were 5, 10 (sleepover), and 16. That way everyone has the same amount of parties and we can do them nicely rather than trying to top last year's or so and so's and spending crazy amounts of money! Something every year just isn't necessary. Just my $.02!

Kathi said...

Love your thoughts Jen. I's crazy!

Steph said...

well saying that he's busy isn't lying because he IS busy with that many parties! and frankly you don't have to give a reason, just say that he can't make it...that's what I say when my kids get invited to parties for friends they barely even know! the thing that gets me is the price of gifts seems to escalating! at my 11 year old's last party, he got several $25 gift cards! that's just too much in my opinion...esp when I then feel compelled to give a comparable gift to that child later on.
I love jen's idea...I'm just too far down the birthday party extravaganza path to turn back!

At Home Redesigns said...

I think it's OK to just say...we're so sorry, but we can't make it to the party. I guess you might want to have something in mind in case you are asked why you can't make it...but I bet no one would ask.

Good luck!

Kathi said...

Thank you all for your comments and advice.

Here is how it played out:
I RSVP'd yes to all 4 because I'm a big wimp.
Then...My M & D decided to take my kids I had to call back and change my Yes to a No for 2 of the 4 parties.

The funny thing is that those 2 were for the kids he really wasn't that good of friends with.

He went to the 2 that he is good friends with.

I explained to him that in the future we may not be able to go to EVERY party. I think my plan is to "Just say no" the kids he's not that close with. That is what I do for myself and nobody questions me.

Today, he got 2 more invitations! What a social life!